“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
― Martin Luther King Jr. Continue Reading
When creating a parenting plan, the goal is for both parents to maintain a meaningful relationship with the children unless special circumstances exist. How can parents develop a viable “50/50” parenting plan? What does equal parenting mean in a “50/50” case? Continue Reading
With so much end of year busyness, it sometimes takes effort to stop for a moment to remember what is important. I was in the post office last week to send out some holiday presents when one of those moments occurred.[1] An elderly man slowly walked up to the counter and placed a dime on the counter and stated [to the postal clerk]: “That’s what I owe you.” The clerk replied: “That wasn’t necessary. You didn’t have to come all the way back.” The man said, “I owed it and I found it in my pocket after I left”. Continue Reading
I recently watched a new television program focused on a couple divorcing and all that goes with such a life changing event. A particular episode focused on the couple meeting with a mediator in an effort to talk out the issues. Towards the end of the meeting, in a very judgmental tone and with all of the non-verbal cues that go with judgment, the mediator asked how the children were taking the news. When it became clear that the couple had not yet told the children, the mediator indicated that they needed to tell the children right away. This took place without any discussion about how and when this would happen. In fact, the mediator followed up by a straightforward command to “just tell them.” This hit me the wrong way and left me thinking about the process of when to speak to the children about the divorce and the best way to do so. Continue Reading
Social media serves as an open journal or scrapbook for many people. It allows distant friends to reconnect, family members to keep in touch, and people to share accomplishments. However, social media has also become an easy way for people to get a window into someone’s hobbies, spending habits, and even one’s schedule. In the divorce process, care should be taken so that social media does not frustrate the negotiations. Continue Reading
The divorce process involves many aspects of the relationship from an emotional and financial standpoint. The most contentious issues often center on the parties’ finances. Because addressing cash flow and the distribution of assets can create added stress during the divorce process, mediation is often considered as the best alternative to going to court. In this process, both parties have an opportunity to obtain complete information on the family’s financial situation and make informed decisions about how to move forward. This is especially important when there is an imbalance in the relationship caused by either a disparity in income or understanding about the finances. Regardless of the reason for the financial imbalance, mediation allows for both parties to have a fair process and equal opportunity for his/her questions and concerns to be heard and addressed while coming to an agreement. Continue Reading
January is a month that people often decide to make life changes. If you and your spouse have made the decision to separate or divorce, you may be thinking about how to proceed. Choosing the right process is an important decision because it will affect how negotiations take place. There are three main processes: mediation, collaborative law and litigation. For couples that want to make their own decisions, rather than have a third party decide, the choices that make the most sense are mediation and collaborative law. Negotiations in both of these processes take place outside of the court system in a series of meetings. In both processes, the couple actively participates and sets its own pace. Both processes are voluntary, meaning the process can be ended at any time for any reason. Both processes are also confidential. That means that discussions and all materials developed for these processes are generally not admissible in any subsequent court or contested proceeding. Both processes offer a full opportunity to obtain the information needed to make decisions. Continue Reading
Mediation is a process where a neutral professional facilitates the communication between two parties in order to help them reach a mutually acceptable resolution of a dispute. Mediation is used in many types of legal disputes, but can be especially valuable in the context of family law, more specifically divorce. Aside from the usefulness of the process itself, there are many benefits of mediation that are often overlooked. Continue Reading
The plot of this very engrossing courtroom drama revolves around an Israeli woman’s desire for a divorce and her husband’s refusal to agree. Viviane, the wife, needs a gett, which is a divorce document that is only obtainable in Israel by going through the rabbinical court. The process can take years and there is no civil recourse. It is up to the husband, Elisha in this case, whether to give the wife a divorce. This film shows that personal freedom can be difficult, if not impossible to achieve. I will leave the issues of how much liberty was taken with the story or whether it accurately depicts the rabbinical court for others to discuss. My focus is the contrast offered up by the film in individual freedom and the right to make choices in marital agreements that benefit both spouses and their children. Continue Reading
Family Law Matters Blog