I recently read an article discussing a current “phenomenon” of the Gray Divorce – a term used for couples divorcing in their later years. Although I can’t say I like the name for it, I was prompted to do my own research as to why older couples are now choosing divorce at a higher rate than in earlier years. Over the years there has been somewhat of a cultural shift when it comes to the traditional definition of marriage. The lines between acceptable and unacceptable have become blurred, including general views on divorce. In years past, there was a social stigma attached to divorce, and along with specific religious issues, divorce was not a viable option for many people. However, because a lot of those ideals have become more relaxed over the years, couples who might not have been able to divorce in the past can do so now. While cultural and religious changes can account for some divorces, there are other reasons to consider for older generations as well.
Although divorce is a sensitive and sometimes stressful process, there can be different considerations for older couples. For example, many older couples’ children (if they have children) are already adults, so items like custody and child support do not necessarily come into play. However, a divorce can still be emotionally difficult for adult children and considerable thought needs to be given to how the children will be told and how it will affect them. Whether in a written agreement or not, it may be important for the couple to have an open discussion on how holidays or other celebrations with the children will work. Another important consideration is the finances. Older individuals may find themselves in a very different mindset when it comes to the possibility of having to re-enter the workforce after retirement. It may not be nearly as easy to transition to a two-income household to a one-income situation. Items like health insurance and benefits may become more important for older individuals depending on the health of each spouse.
Divorce can be a difficult time no matter the age of the parties involved. However, this trend of older couples divorcing brings up some unique issues which other couples may not yet have experienced. Many couples that have been together for a long time do not want to fight when they end their marriage. Often they want to make sure that their spouse will be okay and that their children will continue to respect them and the decision to divorce.
The first steps are important because the process a couple chooses can make finding mutual solutions easier from a practical and emotional standpoint. Any couple considering divorce can benefit from an open discussion to better understand their options.